This is what happens when I get lonely...

So, I'm currently laying in bed, listening to music, and wondering how I can tell Abe exactly how I feel about him. Do I tell him to his face, and risk the stammering and stuttering that comes when I talk about my feelings out loud? Do I write him a letter? Do I send him a text? No, not a text, that's a tad too impersonal for my liking. Do I take out a full-page advertisement in The Advertiser (my city's newspaper)? I can't email him as he doesn't actually know how to use a computer properly, and therefore doesn't have an email address.

Regardless of the medium, what do I say? Apart from the obvious of "I love you", "you mean so much to me" and all that jazz, what else is there that won't sound cliché? As scary a concept it is for me, I want to spend the rest of my life with this man. He makes me happier than I can ever recall being. I suppose I could say those things, and more, but what? That I truly believe I've been in love with him since the first time I ever met him (a year and a half before we actually got together) but just didn't realise it until we went on a date? That, until now, the idea of spending my life with one person scared the hell out of me? That the idea of losing him makes me hurt, physically? I just don't know what to say. I also don't want to go overboard, or be too sappy or gushy.

I'm pathetic, I know. I can express my feelings on the Internet, where ANYONE could see, but I can't tell my own boyfriend. I guess the anonymity allows me to be open. The fact that I can think about what I'm typing and change or delete it if I don't like it probably helps.

Any help would be appreciated, though I wonder how many people actually read this blog, other than Sera.

I think that might be enough for now.

Goodnight!

- beckoned