Chocolate cravings

For some reason, I'm having serious chocolate cravings at the moment. I've had two little pieces of dark chocolate and am halfway through a third, and I want more, lots more! I have no idea what to do about it, other than ignore it. Maybe I'll have some Nutella too...I dunno, haha.

Well...hopefully I'll be able to either overcome it or satisfy it, lol.

Wish me luck!

- beckoned

Something different from me...

I've been watching tv since I woke up an hour ago, and I just saw my favourite advert. It's the Whiskas cat food ad with the dancing mouse. Well, I decided to see if I could find it on YouTube for those people who haven't seen it yet, and I succeeded and more! So here are all the Whiskas adverts with mice in them...

Dancing mouse


Bagpiper mouse


Bungee jumping mouse


If I find any more, I shall edit this post with the links =D

Results of x-rays

I saw my doctor today for the results of my x-rays. I don't have a herniated disc, which I guess is good news. I have something called lumbar lordosis which seems to have caused spondylolisthesis. In layman's terms, the inward curve of my lower back isn't as curvy as it's supposed to be. In fact, looking at the side-view x-rays, my spine stands almost bolt-upright from my pelvis, instead of the graceful curve it's meant to have. This has caused my back muscles to severely stiffen up which is causing the back pain.

Also, I have a slight right tilt to my spine, meaning that instead of it being perfectly perpendicular to my pelvis (when looking at my rear-view x-rays), it tilts to, you guessed it, the right a little. Fun stuff...in a non-fun kind of way.

So...what my GP has suggested is to go and see a physiotherapist and learn techniques to strengthen my back and abdominal muscles, which should help with the pain. I just have to save up for the physio...

With any luck, I should be a little better even a week following my first physio appointment.

I'm not entirely sure what this all means (except the physio) but if someone finds out before I do, let me know!

- beckoned

The Dark Knight and other stuff

I just got back from seeing The Dark Knight, finally! It was FANTASTIC! I highly recommend everyone to see it, except small children and whose who are easily frightened. I won't give anything away, but I will say two things: one - Harvey Dent (aka Harvey Two-Face) is CREEPY! And two - Heath Ledger, as The Joker, steals every scene he is in. All-in-all, an awesome movie!

Now for the other stuff.

Alex finally saw his son, Lucien, for the first time since February, I think it was. I'm happy for him, but this part of the post isn't really related to him seeing Lu again. It's more about the fact that all the bullshit that Hannelle caused has now been dredged back up inside me. I need to get past it all, but I don't know how. I can't simply forget it, I've tried that and it doesn't work. I have a sick desire for them to know exactly how scummy I think they are. To feel all the hurt they've caused Alex and I. To see themselves as how many others see them - as lying whores. I just don't know how to do it.

Suggestions, please!

Anyway, enough for now.

- beckoned

I'm getting sick of the bullshit...

[rant]

My mother has been becoming increasingly narky at me. It's getting to the point that I need to move out. She's driving me insane!

She has a go at me every time my tone of voice isn't quite how she likes it. She has a go at me for not doing the washing up, even though I can't stand for any length of time. She yells at me for doing anything around the house, usually within 2 hours of me getting home from being away for 4 days.

It's insanity! I know she's got a job and all, but I can't be expected to do things that I am physically incapable of doing. It's getting beyond a joke.

Thankfully Sera is coming back in October-ish and she and I are going to get a place together...

[/rant]

- beckoned

I have some news...

As of early this morning (around 2am), I'm engaged! Before anyone asks if we've set a date, no, we haven't. We're not really engaged to get married, it's more like engaged so it's a slightly more formal relationship than simply dating. I would marry him if he wanted to, and he would do the same for me, but thankfully, neither of us actually want to be married. I love Abe more than anything and I'm more than happy to call him my fiancé. Ok, I'm a little hyper and have lost the ability to distinguish between paragraphs so I'll leave it at his for now.

Bye!

- beckoned

This is what happens when I get lonely...

So, I'm currently laying in bed, listening to music, and wondering how I can tell Abe exactly how I feel about him. Do I tell him to his face, and risk the stammering and stuttering that comes when I talk about my feelings out loud? Do I write him a letter? Do I send him a text? No, not a text, that's a tad too impersonal for my liking. Do I take out a full-page advertisement in The Advertiser (my city's newspaper)? I can't email him as he doesn't actually know how to use a computer properly, and therefore doesn't have an email address.

Regardless of the medium, what do I say? Apart from the obvious of "I love you", "you mean so much to me" and all that jazz, what else is there that won't sound cliché? As scary a concept it is for me, I want to spend the rest of my life with this man. He makes me happier than I can ever recall being. I suppose I could say those things, and more, but what? That I truly believe I've been in love with him since the first time I ever met him (a year and a half before we actually got together) but just didn't realise it until we went on a date? That, until now, the idea of spending my life with one person scared the hell out of me? That the idea of losing him makes me hurt, physically? I just don't know what to say. I also don't want to go overboard, or be too sappy or gushy.

I'm pathetic, I know. I can express my feelings on the Internet, where ANYONE could see, but I can't tell my own boyfriend. I guess the anonymity allows me to be open. The fact that I can think about what I'm typing and change or delete it if I don't like it probably helps.

Any help would be appreciated, though I wonder how many people actually read this blog, other than Sera.

I think that might be enough for now.

Goodnight!

- beckoned

X-rays and stuff

I had my x-rays done yesterday. It was nothing spectacular. I don't get my results until I see my GP, which will be happening on the 29th, I think it is.

On a different note, I was meant to go to Abe's today. I got a call from him at 12:40pm saying that he had bad news. I thought maybe he'd gotten sicker overnight. I was wrong. It turns out that his dad has decided that I spend too much time there so Abe thought it would be better if I didn't come over for a few days, understandably. So yeah, it looks like we may have to meet up during the day for a while, and Abe might have to come here. Thankfully I'm getting a new base for my bed on Saturday so he'll be able to sleep comfortably at least.

So that's my drama for now. I'll update with the results of my x-rays when I get them, and possibly before then as well, haha.

- beckoned

Post-op appointment

I had my post-op appointment today. It was somewhat pointless...

I'm normal, apparently. Nothing is wrong with me, no endometriosis, no poly-cystic ovary syndrome, no cystic appendix. Nothing. No reason for the pain. The only solution I was offered was to go back on the pill, so they gave me a prescription for Levlen ED and also for mefenamic acid pills, which are to help with the period pain.

So I went to the mall to get those two prescriptions, plus the repeat for my tramadol, filled. $15 all up, everything is covered by the Pharmaceutical Benefits Scheme (PBS), thank goodness. While I was waiting, I went looking for green nail polish. Do you know how hard it is to find green nail polish? Almost effing impossible! Eventually I found some pale green at Inglot, it isn't too bad but not what I was looking for. I shall be experimenting with putting it over black and stuff like that.

I wonder if perhaps I have RSI in my left thumb, the one I use for pressing spacebar. It's really sore in the joint. Hmmm. Hopefully it goes away, unlike this damn cold! Maybe I'll go to the walk-in clinic tomorrow after my x-ray.

Anyway, I should contemplate bed as I have to get up at 9am. *contemplates bed* Nah, don't wanna sleep yet, but I'll finish this post here.

Ta-ta!

- beckoned

Ramblings...

You may have noticed that I deleted the last two posts. My reason for doing so was to prevent this blog from becoming a bitch-fest. I'd rather whinge about slightly less petty things here.

I have a bloody cold! Abe and Wynona had it last week, Abe's turned into bronchitis (hopefully I don't get that!) and Wynona ended up with an inner ear infection, so that's where I caught it. So tomorrow, after my post-op appointment, I may pop into the new walk-in clinic down the road from the hospital and get a check-up to make sure mine isn't turning into bronchitis or anything that can be treated with antibiotics.

And while I'm still thinking about it, my post-op appointment is to hear the results of my exploratory laparoscopy. When I was at the hospital the other week, one of the doctors let slip that the results came back normal, except I have a cystic appendix (I'm Googling that as I type!). Normal is good in the sense that I don't have poly-cystic ovary syndrome or endometriosis, but bad in the sense that there isn't something that can be fixed. It may mean birth control, whether it be in pill form or an IUD or implant, it may also mean pain killers forever and a day. Stupid body!

The Google search for a cystic appendix was not at all helpful, so I turned to Yahoo! Answers and asked the people there what it was. Hopefully I get an answer soon!

As for my back...x-rays on Friday, which hopefully will come with a diagnosis sheet so I know what's wrong.

I'll update again tomorrow when I find out my options as far as the post-op appointment and the cold go...

Ciao!

- beckoned

Doctors appointment and more

So...I had my doctor's appointment today. It was uneventful. BUT...he bothered to actually look at my back! He said it might be a muscle strain, but it also might be more than that so he's referred me for an x-ray. Finally, something is being done.

After the doctor's appointment, Mum and I decided to bus it to Elizabeth SC and have lunch, instead of going back into town (downtown) and then out here again. Well, we had lunch (KFC), then went to Big W (Wal-Mart) and I got some new underwear (yay) and shampoo.

Then we went to JB Hifi. They are currently having a "buy 2 get 1 free" sale on selected tv box sets, so Mum bought me Buffy seasons 2, 3, and 4 (I have season 1 already)! YAY! She got herself National Treasure 2, "Evolution Hour" by Paganize and "SMPT:e" by Transatlantic.

As we were leaving JB Hifi, my back was KILLING me. I had popped a tramadol while waiting for Mum to choose something, but they take about 45 minutes to kick in, so I went by a chemist and got some Neurofen Gel. God, that stuff works like a charm! Well, it did for long enough for the tramadol to kick in.

So, all in all, a pretty good day, except when I left Abe's (at 10am this morning), but I'm going back there tomorrow =D

Enough rambling for now!

- beckoned

Woohoo! Another concert for Jordi!

I just found out that Disturbed are playing in Adelaide on the 31st August! Yay! Thank goodness Mum gets paid on Thursday, coincidentally the same day as the tickets go on sale, so she's going to pick us up some tickets =D Hopefully my back is fine by then...

- beckoned

Edit: Mum got the tickets! YAY!

Sherbie update

Mum took Sherbie to the vet today. The vet pretty much said that he could give him medication but that would only prolong his life perhaps a month at the most, but it would mean he'd suffer, because his organs are shutting down. Mum made the decision to have him euthanised because she couldn't bear to see him suffer. I would have made the same choice. So now I only have 15 rats ='(

RIP my Sherbly Burbly, you will be sorely missed!

- beckoned

Wow, third blog for the day...

It looks like one of my rats, Sherbert, is getting put to sleep tomorrow ='( he's getting old, but lately, he's gotten really skinny, to the point that you can feel his spine and ribs, which in a rat is bad, he hasn't been eating properly and he's getting really sluggish. He doesn't want to be held at all, he just wants to spend all his time in one of the baskets in his cage. The other rats in with him know something's going on, they're always grooming him gently and snuggling him in a basket. I wish it didn't have to happen, but chances are, it will.

I'll have an update on this tomorrow, most likely...

- beckoned

An update on my back problems

I ended up going to the hospital at 2:30 this morning because the back pain got so bad that I just couldn't function. After waiting something ridiculous like 5 hours to actually see a doctor, she just waltzed in and poked and prodded my TUMMY. Then she asked about my pain level and basically told me off because I have a codeine allergy so they can't really give me anything for the pain and took a blood sample. Then she disappeared...

About two hours later, a new doctor waltzed into my room and asked me what I wanted them to do. Obviously I had no idea, that's why I went to the freakin' hospital! I just wanted an answer as to why my back is so sore. She told me that the blood tests were clear, so no kidney infection and I'm definitely not pregnant. She then proceeded to tell me that the only solution is to go to the pain clinic at another hospital so she's written a letter to my GP telling him to refer me.

Next, a nurse comes in and offers me pain killers in the form of a suppository, which I'm not at all comfortable with. He tried to pressure me into taking one, and I kept saying no. He said "well, I guess it's just pain then" and walked out. Needless to say, I was pissed off. The second doctor came back in and had a go at me for refusing the suppository and then asked what I wanted. I told her just to give me some Tramadol in IV form, which she did, after complaining again about me not wanting to have the suppository.

Finally, I get painkillers. They barely took the edge off the pain, but whatever, by this point, I just wanted to GO HOME! They pump me full of Tramadol then tell me to leave, didn't bother to see if I was dizzy or ill or anything. Not good at all. I almost passed out when we went down to the pharmacy to get my prescription for oral Tramadol filled.

Anyway, I got home and slept for a couple hours, then went back to TTP (stupid, I know) and got a wheelchair so I didn't have to walk. I got an ice pack and some Tiger Balm. When I got home, I was putting the Tiger Balm on my back and Mum noticed that my back is swollen and bruised so she finally believes me about how bad it is...

So...after 18-odd hours of hospitals and stuff, I'm no closer to finding out what's wrong with my back but I do know that I don't have an infection of any sort, nor am I pregnant.

I will be writing to the local paper about my experience at this hospital as it was NOT helpful at all.

My ranting is over...for now!

- beckoned

A tad depressed...

I miss Alaska. I really do. God, if I had the money, I'd be on a plane in a second, except I'd miss Abe like mad too! I'd want to bring him along, and if I had the money, and he didn't have Wynona full-time, I would! I should really stop looking at photos of AK...

On another note, my back is still fucked up. And I'm going out tomorrow. DAMNIT! I'll just have to keep myself doped up on painkillers the whole time I'm out, and avoid walking as much as I can. If it wasn't for the fact Sera is leaving on Sunday, I'd postpone it, but she is, so I won't. Stupid back and it's stupid timing.

Anyway, enough complaints. I should go to bed as I'm getting up at 9:00 tomorrow morning.

- beckoned

I hate my stupid back!

About three weeks ago, I woke up with severe back pain. I have no idea what caused it, but at the time, I could take pain killers and apply heat and cope with it until it went away, about five days later. Every week or so since, it's flared up for about two days and then mostly gone again, leaving just a slight tenderness. Today, however, it's back with a vengeance. I could barely walk five hours ago. Since then, I've been laying on my back on the couch with a hot water bottle on it. It's loosened up a bit, and I can walk a little, but it still hurts like hell. Unfortunately I won't be seeing a doctor until the 11th, and I can't see a chiropractor because they're expensive. I reckon I'm gonna have to just keep myself drugged up (I've only got six of my pain killers left, crap), especially on Friday, when I meet up with Sera and Jade in town. Hopefully it'll get better by then, but who knows with me?! Stupid back!

On a much more happy note, it's 8 months today since Abe and I got together and I couldn't be happier! I love him with all my heart!

Enough complaining and talking about my love <3

- Jordi

PMDD and other stuff

On one of the local current affairs programs tonight, they ran a story on PMDD. It sounds just like me! I have a doctor's appointment on the 11th of July, so I'm going to talk to my doctor about it. Mind you, he has a tendency to not want to know about my female problems...not good for a GP, I know. But I may just get a referral a gynaecologist so it isn't a recurring shudder, haha.

On another note, I'm home for a few days (until Friday at the earliest) and I've been here since about 18:00 and I already wanna go back to Abe's...but not because of anything happening here, which is unusual...but because I miss him as one would miss a limb, haha. But seriously, I really do miss him, often within seconds of leaving him. I very rarely want to leave Abe's house, but unfortunately, I have to.

And finally, I'm watching the Supernatural series 3 finale...it looks pretty good so far! I have a feeling I'm gonna end up in tears at some point, knowing me. It's such an awesome show, and I think everyone should watch it!

Anyway, enough rambling! I shall update again another day! *waves*

Adios!